The Name Game

Have you ever felt nameless? It's the feeling you get when you think no one at a given place and time cares about you or even knows who you are. It can often happen in large group settings such as classrooms, churches, DMV's, airports, and the like. Sometimes anonymity can work to your advantage. It can help you to not get called on to conjugate verbs in Spanish class or to easily slip out of a Weight Watchers meeting because you know you haven't been counting your points. Often times, being just one of the many anonymous bodies can be the ultimate source of frustration. Imagine your last trip to the DMV. How amazing would it be if you walked in and you were greeted by name instead of becoming J35? If the bouncer (I don't know what they are really called) who hands out the numbers said,

"Good morning Mrs. Smith. I'm so glad to see you today. I have everything ready because you had an appointment and I knew you were coming. How is your son's arm? I heard he broke it and couldn't play for the season. I really hope you are enjoying your new car. This license plate you came up with is so clever!"

Later you told your friend that you went to the DMV today and she said, 

"They are so nice there. I haven't been in months; maybe I'll stop by to say hi. I can’t wait to take my new driver’s license photo. They always make me look so good!" 

In this alternate universe where people want to go to the DMV, only one thing has changed. It’s the same paperwork, the same boring subject matter, the same fees, but a different feeling. At this DMV you feel like a person of value and not just a number. They know who you are and they care about your life.

Now, I’m not saying that going to kids church is like going to the DMV. I hope kids church is more fun than filling out form SR 19C, but the part about feeling like a valued person still applies. Children want to be known, especially by people who are older then them. Think about a time when someone you looked up to knew your name when you didn’t expect it? Or, remember the devastation you felt when someone didn’t know who you were? One time a child came into class and asked me, “Do you know my name?” It was the fourth time the child had attended, so I told him of course I knew it (I really did). He smiled with surprise. The simple fact of remembering his name helped him to connect to me and connect to the class and want to continue coming back. When someone knows your name you can be remembered and missed, praised and encouraged, as well as held accountable. Remembering a child’s name not only helps them to feel loved and like they belong, it also helps the teacher. Calling children by name cuts down on the chaos of shouting “hey you” and makes for a smoother class time.

For those of us without the strongest memories, here are 3 tips for remembering names:

1.    Repeat: When a child tells you his or her name, repeat it as many times as you can without seeming crazy.

Example: What’s your name? Did you say your name is James? Hi, James. I’m glad you came this morning. Hey everyone, this is James. Introduce yourselves to James and tell him how to play the game too.

2.    Associate: Try to find something you already know that you can associate with the name.

Example: Your name is James? My Grandpa’s name is James. Your name is Summer? Summer is my favorite season.

3.    Ask: Don’t be afraid to ask a child to repeat his or her name. Even if it has been four weeks and is now a little awkward. Start by saying something nice and then asking for a reminder. Then try tips 1 and 2 so you can remember.

Example: I’m so happy to see you again. You did such a great job with the Bible verse today. Will you remind me again of what your name is, I want to make sure I remember?

Have you had a good or bad experience with remembering a name or being remembered yourself? What do you do to remember names?