Picture this scenario: You are finishing up yourpreparations for class when a child, who is undoubtedly wearing some kind of jet pack, zooms into the room. Of course he’s the first one there. And guess what? He brought his usual Sunday morning donut and Frappucino with extra chocolate. He proceeds to pull Skittles from he pocket as he asks the first of many questions pertaining to when you will be going outside. Mom and dad comein and say, "Good luck, he’s a bit active this morning." At this point your mind may go to a bad place. And hopefully, those thoughts don’t make it to your lips. You can begin to see parents as the saboteurs of all you are trying to accomplish. You wonder, “Why do they load their child full of sugar and then wonder why he can’t stop moving?”or “They can’t even control their own child, but they expect me to miraculously tame him and teach a class.”
Bitterness toward parents can set in as we judge their choices and blame them for making our jobs more difficult. Parents become the enemy of children’s ministry when we forget that our purpose is to love people and share the truth of Christ. Building up walls of resentment puts us in a position where we can't see opportunity to love- to offer encouragement, pray for a need, or develop a relationship.
Children's ministry done correctly is actually family ministry. Children cannot control when they come to church or what time they arrive. They don't always have a choice for breakfast or get breakfast at all. They can't make their parents participate in take home lessons or family Bible studies. They can't force their parents to pray or trust God. To effectively reach children, we need to reach the parents.
The children's staff has the opportunity to engage with the whole family. Honestly, we have a unique view into people's lives. We see how children behave, how families interact, and we often hear more than we expected. We can take the information we gather and turn it against people by judging and gossiping or we can offer love and encouragement. We can pray for wisdom, opportunity, and boldness to speak into the lives of children and parents. We can ask God to give us his eyes and his heart for people so that we can see where healing is needed, where potential can be encouraged, and where love and kindness just need to be expressed.
To have a more effective family ministry:
Make time with God a priority in your own life- You will know God's word and truth and be able to share it, as well as having a better, happier attitude.
Pray- Before going to class, ask God to help you be bold and insightful in loving others-Sometimes loving and doing what's right can put you in a difficult situation. Don't get in over your head, ask a pastor for help.
Greet every parent and child who comes to your class- Have something encouraging to say at drop off and pick up. Learning and remembering names can mean a lot.
Ask questions without prying- Ask what parents took away from the service, how their child is doing in sports or if their is something they need prayer for.
Listen and follow-up- If a child or parent told you something about their lives, let them know you care. Try to remember to ask how the situation turned out or let them know that you prayed.
What ideas do you have for reaching parents and the whole family? What do you do to encourage parents? Have you seen your relationships with parents make a difference?
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