Parents Are Not The Enemy

     Picture this scenario: You are finishing up yourpreparations for class when a child, who is undoubtedly wearing some kind of jet pack, zooms into the room. Of course he’s the first one there. And guess what? He brought his usual Sunday morning donut and Frappucino with extra chocolate. He proceeds to pull Skittles from he pocket as he asks the first of many questions pertaining to when you will be going outside. Mom and dad comein and say, "Good luck, he’s a bit active this morning."  At this point your mind may go to a bad place. And hopefully, those thoughts don’t make it to your lips. You can begin to see parents as the saboteurs of all you are trying to accomplish. You wonder, “Why do they load their child full of sugar and then wonder why he can’t stop moving?”or “They can’t even control their own child, but they expect me to miraculously tame him and teach a class.”
Bitterness toward parents can set in as we judge their choices and blame them for making our jobs more difficult. Parents become the enemy of children’s ministry when we forget that our purpose is to love people and share the truth of Christ. Building up walls of resentment puts us in a position where we can't see opportunity to love- to offer encouragement, pray for a need, or develop a relationship.
Children's ministry done correctly is actually family ministry. Children cannot control when they come to church or what time they arrive. They don't always have a choice for breakfast or get breakfast at all. They can't make their parents participate in take home lessons or family Bible studies. They can't force their parents to pray or trust God. To effectively reach children, we need to reach the parents.
The children's staff has the opportunity to engage with the whole family. Honestly, we have a unique view into people's lives. We see how children behave, how families interact, and we often hear more than we expected. We can take the information we gather and turn it against people by judging and gossiping or we can offer love and encouragement. We can pray for wisdom, opportunity, and boldness to speak into the lives of children and parents. We can ask God to give us his eyes and his heart for people so that we can see where healing is needed, where potential can be encouraged, and where love and kindness just need to be expressed.
To have a more effective family ministry:

     Make time with God a priority in your own life- You will know God's word and truth and be able to share it, as well as having a better, happier attitude.

     Pray- Before going to class, ask God to help you be bold and insightful in loving others-Sometimes loving and doing what's right can put you in a difficult situation. Don't get in over your head, ask a pastor for help.

     Greet every parent and child who comes to your class- Have something encouraging to say at drop off and pick up. Learning and remembering names can mean a lot.

     Ask questions without prying- Ask what parents took away from the service, how their child is doing in sports or if their is something they need prayer for.

     Listen and follow-up- If a child or parent told you something about their lives, let them know you care. Try to remember to ask how the situation turned out or let them know that you prayed.


What ideas do you have for reaching parents and the whole family? What do you do to encourage parents? Have you seen your relationships with parents make a difference?

Safe and Sound

  One of the main things parents look for in a children's ministry is a safe environment. It doesn't matter how many Bible verses your child learned if your child is missing at pick up. As children's staff members, safety needs to be our first concern. A safe place is loving and creates a good learning environment. I remember having lost a child once. Pick up time came and I was alone in a class with 30 kids. I tried to monitor all of the children, but was unsuccessful. A parent came to pick up a child and she was notthere. I panicked and did not know what to do. Two minutes later, the young girlopens the door and my heart slowed. She had walked herself to the bathroomwithout asking. The parents were happy, but I was not. I kept asking myself how Icould let that happen. What if it was worse? In a mid-sized church, where we tend to identify most of the people, we can get lax and make a lot of assumptions. It only takes one safety mistake to change the lives of a child and his or her family. The truth is, if we don’t have a safe environment, we will not be able to reach kids.

Here are a few safety procedures to follow:

TakeRoll Often-

     Keeping track of the kids is key. Make sure to take one formal roll call at least oncein the class. The rest of the time just in your head compare the list to thekids in your class. If your class moves from one location to another then makesure to retake roll to ensure that all kids are still present. Finally checkout all of the kids using your roll sheet as a check off.

Get To Know Allergies and Special Conditions-
     Makesure to check the roll sheet for allergies and special conditions that childrencould have. Don’t let kids share food or drinks.

WalkKids To Bathrooms-

     Neversend a child any where alone and never go alone with a child. If you have achild who needs to go to the bathroom, take 2 or more kids and walk them. Youdon’t need to go in the bathroom, but just walk them to the bathroom and wait outside. If there is any kind of bathroom emergency or accident, call a pastor or director for help.

CollectCheck Out Slips-

     If aparent doesn’t have a check out slip make sure to write down on the roll sheetwho picked them up. If you do not recognize them ask to see and ID first. Don'tlet kids run off. Kids cannot check other kids out.

KeepYour Eye Out For Hazards And People-

     Let apastor or director know if you see any hazards. Let a pastor or director knowif you see any suspicious people hanging around. If you ever feel unsafe call aPastor immediately. Do not allow people who are not on the schedule to hangaround. If a parent want to stay please contact a pastor or director. They willneed to fill out an information card.

Use Crosswalks And Have Leaders At The front Of A Line-

     Make sure to travel safely to and fromlocations in lines. Have a leader in front and in back especially when travellingthrough the parking lot.

Team Teach-

     Whenever possible have at least 2 teachers in aclass. It is so important to come if you are scheduled to teach. Being understaffed creates a chaotic environment and opens the door for disasters.

Pay Attention-

     Most dangerous situations can be caughtbefore they even start. Watch kids carefully and pay attention to where they are playing and what they are doing.Don't get so caught up in a conversation with a child, staff member or  parent that your attention is not on the kids. Having structured activities helps to control the environment.

Use Playground And Equipment Correctly-

     Make sure to watch kids on the play groundand not allow kids to use the equipment unsafely.

If you ever have any questions or concerns donot hesitate to talk to a pastor or director.

I want to take a moment to brag on a teaching team. I am so proud to be serving alongside of Ray and Kristine Jones.  Both of them think so creatively in teaching and disciplining. They always have fun games and projects to do with their students. They also have effective techniques for creating a good learning environment. Ray had an opportunity arise in a very energetic student. Instead of sending the student to time out, he had the student burn off energy. This wise insight solved the energy problem that was causing distraction and keeping the child from properly participating. I want to encourage all of the staff to think creatively and let me know if you have any ideas. One brain can only come up with so many solutions. By putting our heads together, we can create more successful plans. I appreciate all the staff that work so hard to make eight:sixteen kids a success. Thank You!

Welcome to the first of  many training notes, videos, and articles designed specifically for eight:sixteen kids staff! Check in often for great, new content. My goal is for you to be equipped to handle any classroom or small/large group situation. This blog will be a combination of ideas that my wife and I worked through, as well as resources from friends and other children's pastors. I am excited to provide you with helpful tools that will better your teaching experience and the impact you have on children.